Yoland Says ... Interview What is your idea of perfect happiness after sex? AB:A bowl of cereal with soy milk. Which of these common side-effects of HIV medication would you prefer to have: a)Constipation b)Menstrual irregularities c)Seizures d)Anorexia ? AB: Constipation. Nothing a bowl of cereal with soy milk wouldn't cure. What is your favorite rice recipe? AB: Anne Rice. What is the trait you most deplore in a disease? AB: People who deplore it. Have you ever met Elizabeth Taylor? AB: The real one or the animatronic puppet of late? What is your preferred pain killer? AB: Focus. Do you own an ‘AIDS movie’? AB: Better. I own "Mauvais Sang" by Leos Carax. It's about a deadly disease that kills people who have sex without being in love. The World’s Most Gorgeous Person wants to have sex with you but prefers to bareback it. What do you do? AB: Lube it. What name would you give your very own AIDS virus? AB: Bigotry. Would you name your pet AZTina? AB:Too selfish to have pets. Which talent would you hate to have? AB: None. I admire talent in every form. What is your current state of mind regarding AIDS? AB:I don't know about the state of my mind, but the state of my fingers is: CROSSED. If you were to die and come back as a Nobel Peace Prize winner, in which category do you think it would be? a)Chemistry b)Physics c)Medicine d)Literature e)Economics AB: Doesn't matter, as long as I can cash the $1,000,000 check. If you had to tell your parents you had HIV, would you: a)Take them out to a fine restaurant b)Wait until you were on your death bed c)Say something like “I’ve got good news and bad news … the good news is that I’m alive!” d)Tell them that HIV stands for High Intolerance for Viagra. AB: e) Remember that special allowance you used to give me as a kid to buy condoms? I blew it on dope... What would be your question to the following reply: “Not for all the AIDS in China!”? AB: Would you punch an alien? What is your preferred manner of swallowing a pill? AB: I prefer suppositories. In your opinion, can someone catch HIV if they're not having unprotected sex with a condom? AB: I don't know, but what is heavier: a pound of shit or a pound of whipped cream? What is the quality you most like in a hospital? AB: Hospitality. Who are your favorite doctors? AB: Doctors suck. What is the one motto you can’t stand to hear? AB:In vino veritas (In wine, truth). Are you a good orator? AB: My oral skills are impeccable.. Could you still mix a good martini if you were blind? AB: I've got 20/20 vision, and my Martini blows. Do you get drunk at wakes? AB: I don't drink. Hence my lack of bartending skills. What’s love got to do with it? AB: Everything. And nothing. YoLanda Says ..."Is he not the meow's kitty? And a member of MENSA too!